End the Vagina Lottery and Ditch the Cousin-F***ers!

Thankfully, you’ll be reading my piece as the Diamond Jubilee’s celebrations halt to an end… Can you feel my rampant republicanism yet?

Seriously though, it grates just to type the above capitalised two words: but at least this blog might do its own little bit in attempting to finally ensure a grown-up discussion about republicanism in Britain at last. Frankly – its time we did away with this current motley bunch of cousin-f***ers and end the ‘vagina lottery’!

Alright, forgive the controversial title and stated aims – but I wanted to grab your attention. I’m sure I’ve done that. But the labels themselves are beyond dispute. There has been a concrete history of inbreeding within the royal family: and the entire decision-making process behind who becomes Monarch is the vagina lottery.

Namely, which vagina you come out of, (and in what order), automatically ensures your position – constitutionally heralded as the greatest individual that the entire Commonwealth can produce. No wonder the Tartan Tories want independence…

The Queen even existing, irrespective of her ‘constitutionality’ per se – is an absolute, unabridged scandal that does not befit any nation that even desires, let alone prides itself on, being civilised. The very fact that the unemployed were bused in from as far away as Plymouth, and forced to sleep under a bridge in order to ‘help with the efforts’ – and preventing paid work from occurring, (to maximise the sub-contractors profits), is indicative of the absolute disgrace.

When we total up the bill from this organised public arse-kissing – merely because the luckiest woman in Britain won’t snuff it already; it is a vomit-inducing scandal that is symbolic of our mis-spent priorities and the class divides. They’re responsible for fueling inequality, one that we in Britain will never surpass without a determined, socialist, Labour government.

We all live in hope eh?

There are many arguments put forward to defend the Windsors, (changed their name from Saxe-Coburg during WWI), but I find them all unconvincing to say the very least…

It’s true that no sitting monarch has exercised their inherent right to withdraw Royal Assent since Queen Anne and the 1707 Scottish Militia Act – but the very fact it even exists is the root of the problem. With America electing a mixed-race Barack Obama as their head of state: I find it heartbreaking that we in Britain are as yet not able to tell our sons and daughter, that they can rise to the highest position in the land, irrespective of gender, race, creed or beliefs.

The celebrations themselves this weekend have been worthy of Pyongyang – but arguably even finer in terms of minimising and criticising dissent from the proletariat. We are not subjects, but citizens! And it is about time that we reflected this across our society.

It is just a shame that the media weren’t able to show the greatest Republican protest since the Peasants Revolt – after all: whatever happened to balance? I’m sure I can hear Al-Jazeera laughing in a not-too distant corner. We ought to expect more from our public service broadcasters.

Shamefully – it was left of the saintly, (and hilarious), Jon Stewart of Daily Show fame to wade-in head first in to the monarchy. http://liberalconspiracy.org/2012/06/05/watch-jon-stewart-rips-queens-jubilee-coverage/ He deserves a knighthood for it, and it’s well worth a watch… Yes – I see the irony of the former!

No amount of 4-day weekends can ever mollify the anger this weekend has stirred up in me – as a proud member of Republic. Sod the 4-day weekend love, I’d rather have democracy!

Weak defenders of the status quo, (inherently conservative), point out flaws as they perceive in other systems: but others’ supposed weaknesses do not forgive our own glaring ones. Aim for the stars for goodness sake!

There is an understandable aversion to extra politicians infiltrating the corrupt constitutional establishment, (and copying the likes of the French or Russian system), which is a reaction to the current crop of insipid useless sods we have at the minute unfortunately. But even this is no reason not to go after a system like the German or American model.

Heaven forbid, we might even be able to create our own with a bit of oomph!

Dispensing with a Head of State, and beefing up the powers of the Lords and select committees would ensure a much more balanced and democratic outlook across the Prime Minister’s bows. Whilst we even have an elected dictatorship – with a monarch: you still manage to get the latter without the former!

Or have a complete ambassadorial role, elected by the public. Think of truly wonderful experts who would be symbolic of all the talents that Britain has to offer the world. Think Stephen Fry, Brain Cox, David Attenborough, Stephen Hawkins, William Shakespeare, Charles Darwin, Richard Dawkins or any number of the brains we export to the world.

This would be a unique and wonderful opportunity for Britain, once more, to lead the world. We’d counter the brain drain with a swift, symbolic gesture. Indeed – we’d be transforming the process from The Vagina Lottery, to the Brain Game! Even better than the current question as to which of the slimiest politicos can squeeze their nose in the doors of Number 10.

Christ, the whiff of inbreeding would even disappear to! Better than the current mess where some ginger-haid Nazi admiring lunatic, who can’t 3 half-decent A-Level grades at Eton of all places: is 3rd in line to the bloody throne!

Any system, with democratic selection at its heart – would be better than this current (inter)national disgrace.

The tourism argument is naive to boot. Britain has plenty to offer the wide world, and is a big target for all sort of jet-setters, rowers and plain lunatics’ tourism cash. Yes – even in a rain-soaked June! The idea we need an octogenarian ruling foul-mouthed, snobby Queen in charge in order to attract Japanese & American tourists is ridiculous. We could do that with a pair of shiny keys!

We already have some of the most wonderful heritage across the world, and have plenty to be proud for. No matter what Piers Morgan and the Twitter inspired “#ProudToBeBritish” love-in might suggest, the idea that we need a jubilee, with unemployed sleeping under a bridge – to be proud of being British, or some of our achievements, is utterly sickening.

A friend of mine timely pointed out that anything couldn’t be British without a touch of slavery. He was spot on.

We have plenty to be proud of in Britain, when it comes to some of our achievements – but the idea that there’s not plenty to shiver our heads at in disgust – is equally daft. Just think of the Mau-Mau rebellion, the colonisation of much of the world for financial motives, Dresden and the appalling manner in which we still: treat so many of our vulnerable.

Conversely – there’s the NHS’ creation, the Peasants’ Revolt, the Poll Tax Marches (both!), the Minimum Wage, SureStart, previously nationalised industries, the end of the Slave Trade, the 1832 Great Reform Act, legalisation of homosexuality and abortion, the repeal of Section 28, the Tolpuddle Martyrs, the acquittal of Clive Ponting, Magna Carta, the Suffragettes…

They might not be taught in our schools, and they might not be plastered all over the BBC in a fawning ploy to quell dissent: but they’re what I’m proud of when it comes to Britain.

The monarchy system is exactly the opposite.

Sod your 4-day weekend love.

Viva la revolucion!


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